A list of the most common questions we get about KDR
Why was KnownDonorRegistry.com created?
Known Donor Registry (KDR) was founded as a resource for people who are looking for a parenting option that includes known sperm, egg or embryo donors, co-parents or surrogates. Our mission is to not only bring people together, but to provide valuable information on the legal, health and long-term issues that effect alternative families. We also have a deep commitment to advocating for the rights of donor-conceived children to know their biological history.
Whether you are already in the process or you are just considering your options, KDR has resources and information that you can use to educate yourself, connect with people like you, and help you navigate your path to beginning your family.
What will I find in the KnownDonorRegistry.com website?
KDR has several main sections:
- MyKDR is the social community hub, where you will find profiles, photos and regional groups.
- Find a Match is the advanced search tool to help people find the perfect parenting match.
- Info Center is where you will find our Library, the Marketplace and the News stream.
- Discussions is where you can ask the community any question that you have or look for questions already asked.
- Blogs are where members share their own personal stories, tips, challenges and triumphs.
How does KnownDonorRegistry.com work?
The first step to exploring KDR is to create a profile. Once you have successfully signed in and completed your profile, and when you feel ready, you can search for a parenting match. Most people find this process similar to online dating - you share enough information to determine if there is interest between both parties, and if there is continue to more personal information. It's very important that people observe common sense and standard online safety practices.
How much does KnownDonorRegistry.com cost?
You will never be charged to use any part of KDR - all members have the same access to all tools and resources.
Because it is not legal to exchange money for human tissue, members are not allowed to charge for sperm, eggs or embryos. If agreed up front, it is acceptable to have some expenses covered, but only when they can be backed up by a receipt. For most people, the use of a known donor is free or very low cost.
I'm new here, where do I start?
The first place we recommend all new users go is the Getting Started lessons in the Library. Once you've read through them, continue looking through the Library to familiarize yourself with the questions and information.
Where can I ask all the questions I have?
The KDR community is a great resource! Get on chat and start talking to people, or post a Discussion topic to ask for advice. It always helps to talk to someone who is going through the same thing.
How safe is KDR?
We strive to create a safe and comfortable environment for all users. KDR is a moderated community that is open to anyone, and while we do everything we can to remove members who have violated the Terms of Use, standard online safety rules should always be observed.
Please make sure you have read through the entire Terms of Use, and if someone violates them be sure to report it immediately.
What is a known donor? What is a private donor?
A known donor is someone who donates their sperm, eggs or embryos and shares their identity with the recipient and future child.
A private donor is when the donor and recipient make the arrangements and donation directly with each other, rather than through a fertility clinic. A fertility clinic may still be used to facilitate the donation, but the agreement is done privately.
Why would someone consider using a private known donor?
There are several reasons that people seek out a private known donor. Fertility treatments through a clinic can be extremely expensive, and may be cost preclusive, especially for people who do not have any known fertility issues. Fresh sperm lives much longer than frozen sperm, and fresh donations can have a much higher sperm count. The window to time insemination is 24-36 hours with fresh sperm versus about 6 with frozen. This means that inseminating with fresh sperm is much more forgiving if cycle tracking techniques and has a higher likelihood of success outside of a clinical environment.
Also, many people feel it important to have a personal and direct interaction with the future biological contributor to their family, to meet face to face and really get to know who that person is.
One of the biggest reasons people seek out a private known donor is to allow their child to know who that person is. This can be anything from just their name and general information all the way to occasional visits from the donor (sometimes referred to as a "distant uncle" relationship) to regular involvement (a "close uncle" relationship), or even co-parenting. They have an opportunity to maintain contact over the years, to have questions answered, and in a worst case scenario, to have access to medical information and genetic relatives. Their child has the opportunity to know their biological parent, in whatever form was agreed, and to grow up without the stress and pain of not knowing.
Why would someone consider being a private known donor?
Many sperm and egg donors feel a responsibility to participate in the process of choosing where their genetic material goes, and wish to have a closer dialogue with the recipients than a fertility clinic provides.
Some men may also find it is the only way to donate sperm. Only about 3% of the male population has a high enough sperm count to qualify to donate to a sperm bank. This is because the process of screening, splitting and freezing the donation kills a lot of the little swimmers. This means there are a lot of very fertile, perfectly acceptable donor out there who are not available as sperm bank donors.
What is a co-parent?
Co-parents are people who have decided to conceive and raise children together. This can take many forms and the respective parents may have different levels of involvement, but it is understood that both biological parents will take a parenting role in the child's life.
How safe is using a known donor?
Using a known donor is as safe as you make it. That's the difference between paying thousands to a fertility clinic to do it for you - if you use a known donor you are taking on the responsibility to make sure they are tested for STDs, get any background information you feel is important, and research how to protect yourself legally.
It's very important that you educate yourself in the laws in your area that relate to gamete donation, adoption and parental rights. These are topics that can be heavy, but are SO important to understand before you make a decision that may effect you for the rest of your life. We highly recommend that you consult a licensed attorney in your area.
