Hello all..my soon to be wife and I have been thinking about AI? We are a lesbian couple and wish to start a family of our own. What is the cost? The lady I heard about this from said it was free..is that really the case? Please help :)
Monday, August 13 2012, 02:21 AM
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Accepted Answer

Monday, August 13 2012, 05:54 PM - #Permalink
2 votes
KDR is ONLY for free gamete donation - that is to say that the donor may not charge a fee for their sperm or eggs. As many people have said in greater detail below, it is customary for the recipient to cover expenses.

The KDR Terms of Use require that a donor be able to provide a receipt for the exact same amount (or less) of expenses that s/he requests of the recipient if asked. This is something that should be agreed upon prior to any donation attempts, and is usually written into an agreement between the donor and recipient.
  • Gladdad
    more than a month ago
    I'm a bit new to the site, but I couldn't find that in the terms of use. For legal/self-protection reasons, I was going to charge $1. I feel like I'm keeping with the spirt of the site here, but I don't want to be in violation. Can you put a link down to that language in the Terms & Use? (I wonder if it's been lost in any of the recent upgrades, which are very nice BTW.)
  • BethG
    more than a month ago
    Please read the Terms of Use again, both are explicitly spelled out.

    It is against federal law in every country I am aware of to charge a fee for human tissue. Sperm banks do not charge for sperm, they charge for the service of collecting, screening and storing the sperm. If you charge any amount of money, even $1, that is not a direct reimbursement of expenses, you will be removed from KDR.

    In the Terms of Use under Donors and Recipients:
    4. Recipients should be prepared to cover the cost of STD testing for themselves and the donor, as well as any travel costs associated with donation, unless otherwise agreed upon with the donor.

    5. No request for payment will be made or offered in exchange for sperm, except for expenses incurred for travel or medical tests. Receipts for these expenses must be provided to the Recipient upon request, or as agreed between Donor and Recipient prior to incurring the expense.
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Responses (4)
  • Accepted Answer

    Monday, August 13 2012, 03:43 AM - #Permalink
    4 votes
    It's free, but it's common for the recipients to pay for the donor's expenses, should they occur (gas, accomodation, shipping kits, tests, etc).
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  • Accepted Answer

    Monday, August 13 2012, 09:26 AM - #Permalink
    2 votes
    That depends on your risk tolerance. It can be free. If you pick a donor off the internet from a site like this, it is a local donor, his STD tests are recent enough (and thorough enough) for your tastes, and you have no problem traveling to his house or telling him where you live, it is free. Well, you should buy OPK tests.

    However, if you do it through a doctor's office and use sperm you get from a cryobank, it costs hundreds or thousands. If you aren't comfortable letting an anonymous donor into your house or can't find a local donor, you may have to rent a hotel room, which is like a hundred bucks. If you can't find a local donor, shipping can cost a couple hundred bucks. If you want some specific "non-standard" test or want tests more recent then the last 6 months, you may need to pay the donor to get retested for a couple hundred bucks.

    Things you should buy:
    1.) Specimen cups (cheap)
    2.) Infant medicine syringe without needle (cheap)
    3.) Instead cups (cheap)
    4.) OPK tests (no idea...possibly pricey)
    5.) Prenatal vitamins

    Optional Larger Expenses
    1.) Shipping (TYB preservative, fedex costs)
    2.) Hotel Room
    3.) Travel Costs (for you or him)
    4.) STD tests at a place YOU know. (If donor's tests are too old or you worry they might have been altered)
    6.) Sperm Purchased from a Cryobank (expensive)
    5.) IVF...If you have fertility problem. (very expensive)
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  • Accepted Answer

    Monday, August 13 2012, 10:40 AM - #Permalink
    -3 votes
    I think in some ways STD tests on this site are overrated. In my area, the two big cities are Baltimore and DC. DC has an AIDS rate that is higher than West African countries. I just heard that Baltimore regularly competes for status as the syphilis capital of the USA. I haven't seen that claim about Baltimore in the news. However, I have seen news reports about high rates of AIDS and other STDs in Baltimore.

    In that context, I think STD tests are both weak and give a false sense of security. What if he tests negative after having just been treated for a variety of STDs? A donor with a recent STD test who engages in high risk behavior (e.g. promiscuous sex, sex with multiple partners, sex with prostitutes, IV drug use, or sex with people who do any of the following) is a greater risk for STDs than a donor who does not engage in high risk behaviors but does not take STD tests regularly. This may be an area where older, married, educated donors offer an advantage (if someone is 40 and never done drugs/ used a prostitute, he is unlikely to do so anytime soon). STD tests also don't test for everything. In fact, many clinics won't test for some common STDs if the person is not showing specific symptoms.

    However, I think the best screening approach is to evaluate a donor's character (in line with a discussion by YVR_Samaritan in the forums). I figure that finding a donor who engages in low- risk practices and would be candid, if something should happen, trumps someone who engages in high risk behavior, regardless of STD testing. As much as some recipients want a STD test the day before her donations, that just isn't feasible. They take too much time and are too inconvenient. In addition, the results take about 2 weeks to arrive. In that case, the question isn't just what the results were. It is also important to ask what the person did in the time between the last test and the donation. That second question becomes even more important because recipients aren't going to get STD tests between each donation (which could be spread apart over several months). A recipient who needs multiple donations could easily wind up with an 8th month old STD test from her donor, even if she gets one just before her first donation. By the last donation, I figure that STD test, by itself, tells the recipient very little about the donor.

    Since consistency of behavior is an issue related to character, I figure testing a donor's character in depth is a better prediction of STD status over time.

    In terms of other costs, I tend to suggest donations in a hotel (for safety, legal, privacy, and emotional reasons). However, I've found a lot of recipients do not want to budget for that (especially for multiple donations). If you don't want to spend money for donations in a hotel, spend time getting to know your donor before doing donations somewhere that could be more dangerous.
    • MagnusMoss
      more than a month ago
      Ummm...you know, good character is no defense against STDs. One can be a fine, upstanding citizen who is nice to his Mom and volunteers at soup kitchens, and have the poor fortune to date a women with HIV.

      If someone tests negative for HIV, then you know he was HIV free as of a few months before the date of the test. What is the probability a given person will catch HIV in a six month window?
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  • Accepted Answer

    Monday, August 13 2012, 12:32 PM - #Permalink
    1 votes
    The cost of actually inseminating IS free--but there are other costs to consider. If you go the shipping method, it will cost you about...150 per cycle. If you meet at a hotel, it'll cost you the night's fee for a hotel (I always get a cheap hotel, no use in spending a lot for something I'll only be there for an hour or so for). If you let the donor come to your house, it shouldn't cost you anything except for maybe the insemination supplies--such as a softcup or syringes.

    The donor's services are free--the supplies are not.
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